As a writer I have to look back and use what has happened in my past to create the beautiful picture of Hope that God has given me to share…
Sometimes it’s with words on paper and often it’s with words with others face to face…
Where I struggle in this sharing of my life is the condemnation that often comes from the enemy and the shame of my mistakes.

The truth of my whole story is intertwined in the words that are written in Isaiah 43:18 “But forget all that–it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
That gives me Hope that no matter what was done to me, no matter what I have done, it will all work together for good and God will use it …

When I revisit my past or others revisit it in my presence to use as an example to another without giving the credit to how far I have really came it often takes time to recover.
That’s why God has given me my story to tell because no one else could really tell it and bring Hope. They can tell it and use it as a example but it will have no power.
That’s what happened when I came home Sunday.
So for days I try to recover from the attack of the enemy in my mind; I try to put together the truth and the lie he whispers in my ears.

My husband drives a car without a rear view mirror and at first I never asked why, but when I did he said “it gets in my way” not to long ago he was driving my car and he could not see something up ahead and I let him know that it was there and he said “that mirror gets in my way”. He said that’s why I took mine off.

The truth is we need mirrors to see our future, our past and our present but I suppose if they get in your way and you can’t see at all you have to remove them.

For me I need the mirror but there are people that I don’t need in my life who get in my way of moving into my future and I have to rip them from my life so that I can see it all without condemnation …

I have to put up boundaries and live my life and share Hope without condemnation coming from others…

I love my past, I love my present and I am looking forward to my future because I know God will work them all out for good…

As we get closer to Mother’s Day for me it causes stress and sorrow … I am not alone in this … I decided to this year to give honor to where honor was due…

My mother was unable to do her job for many reasons and I have long forgiven her for never loving me and never attempting to be a mother. She is just unable to be a mom.
I truly have come to the place of acceptance in this.
I still reach out to her and she still rejects me and I am at peace with that because I understand her.
I will continue to send cards and they will continue to be ignored. ( no pity please it’s just my story)

I am thankful for her because she did not abort me and her rejection of me has given me compassion and empathy that others will never have. Our greatest pains are often our biggest platforms 💖 it also made me want to be a better mother and also caused me to overdo many things as I reflect back on my life. I pray she finds peace before she takes her last breathe. I did tell her face to face I forgave her in 1997.

So on to my tribute to my mothers…

I have hated this holiday for so many years… The commercials, the cards, the feeling and bonding that is foreign to me. This year I decided as others put mothers on their profile and you begin to honor them with pictures, as I read the honors going out, the grief of the loss of mothers who excelled in this area, I decided to honor the women who I learned from.

Just go with me a minute … If you grew up in my generation you will relate to these women. I spent hours in front of the tv and I looked at each one of these women, they were just actors playing a part but I learned from them.

I created in my mind the kind of mom I wanted to be from my tv role models …

Edith Bunker the dingbat who was patient and long suffering with her family and husband that has huge issues.
She was funny and kind and I think played on her innocence to keep the battles down .

Carol Brady was the ultimate stay at home mom, who dealt with being a step parent pretty well and showed us how to blend a family.

Marion Cunningham ran a tight ship and she was neat and clean, she dealt with crisis and kept a smile on, she was everyone’s mom and got to hang out with the Fonz!

Florence Evans taught me real life living as a low income mom trying to raise her children to rise above her and go to school and do better than her. She loved her neighbors and was a great inspiration to her family.

June Cleaver was the house wife and mother that seemed to just be the calmest, most loving and all around sweetheart. She was just perfect which was hard to live up to.

Lucy was creative, ambitious and tried anything once, she laughed and was happy no matter what one of her adventures took her. She was fun and funny.

Mary Tyler Moore was the nervous wife & mother.

Morticia Addams she kept up her household best she could with the trouble that her unique family got into and seriously what about that husband.

Caroline Ingalls was the mother who sacrificed for her family, was humble, she was not perfect but would work towards changing and she taught her children about Gods will and she would interact with others and was in love with her husband and children.

Olivia Walton she was faithful and caring and a woman who read her bible and had great faith. After her children were older decided to go back to school to learn and do something for herself.

I learned a little bit from each mother that I viewed on my tv.

I often learn from watching others and I understand why now. I did not have anyone teach me and so I watched and learned and tried to put it into action as a mom & wife..

No wonder I ended up staying confused 😁😁😁😁😁😁

That’s my Mother’s Day tribute to all my mothers ❤️

They taught me everything I know !!!
Oh goodness …

Could be worse I could have Peg Bundy or Lois from family guy as my role models…

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there ..

There are times in life where you don’t know what to say…
When your hurting and no one can help you..
You truly just want to be alone…
When you are misunderstood…
There comes a time that we crave change…
Often in order to truly live you have to change …
We get caught up in wanting to change someone else …
The truth is the only change we can make is within ourselves…
Don’t look at someone else and say you should .. You could… Look in the mirror and say I will change myself…
Sometimes changing yourself hurts others…
If you truly give up trying to change them it will change you…
Life is meant to be lived… Often we get stuck …
Sometimes when we are hurting we don’t truly see others who are reaching out a hand …
When things seem to be hopeless that’s when we truly need to find a lil hope…
Don’t lose hope..
Hope is the lil thing within your heart that says don’t give up…
Sometimes everything has to be lost to find Hope..
Many times we give up just before Hope arrives…
Hope is never wasted if we put our Hope in the right place … Hope in the things not seen …
Hope finds us in the darkest places just open your eyes and look for a Hope today..

“Thinking out Loud”
Doris Lynn Humplik