Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas just might have saved ours.

We are nearing our 4th Christmas together and my 6th Christmas without being in a home as a family unit with my children. About the same time frame for Paul.

We have half hearted walked into every Christmas season together. We have done the bare minimum to get through a season. He and I do not exchange gifts and on Christmas Day we just walk emotionless through whatever needs to be done.
If you were to ask us about Christmas before we were together, our eyes will light up with stories of our Children and things we would do to decorate, celebrate and give during the holiday season. Then there were divorces, distance and strains of life that happened in relationships and our Christmas spirit left. We never celebrate the day that separately we loved so much. Both of us coming from broken homes we tried with our children to recreate the day that we longed for as kids.
Then due to divorces it was all lost.

Then God divinely brings us together and we just don’t have the Christmas spirit, oh we have tried but not with our whole heart like before we became a couple. (Team Possible)

Then we go and watch Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas and it might have saved our future Christmas holidays. This movie brought me to tears and only because I had lost the desire to do my thing that I so loved and I resisted getting into the spirit, simply because I have no children in my home, Paul and I just don’t seem to fit anywhere. No mom & dad to go visit, no children to see because they are away from home through miles or in their hearts.
So we chose somehow without ever saying it to each other, have not given our whole heart in the season. We are the outsiders, the misfits and the couple who after starting life new just have no people to join with. No pity for us it’s just Me stating the facts because it’s the way it is for to many reasons to explain and we have each other and our great relationship and we have God as our foundation. – back to my lil Story…. This movie left us sitting in the theatre talking about what we had just learned and how we had not celebrated and started our own traditions alone. We need to put ourselves back into the Christmas Story that we want to write so we don’t remain that Guy in this story.

Today we actually decided we will for the first time decorate fully and celebrate this year with our whole heart. Santa is welcome to come hang out with the Humplik’s and with Christ because he’s the reason we celebrate this season. We actually celebrate all year long but after watching this movie and the insight on the meaning of swaddling clothes, the tree, ornaments, St. Nick, presents and the reminder of whole reason for Christmas we decided to get our pens out and write our New Team Possible Christmas Story!

If wearing Leggings is wrong I don’t want to be right😳….

It’s that time of year where women get on their Blogs, Facebook, Twitter on Pinterest and where ever it can be heard by others and shout “Leggings aren’t pants”. I wanna shout who cares ?
Is there another topic that women have to face than a debate about leggings?
What about oh heck I ain’t falling for that and saying what about ?
Know why, because that’s just giving my opinion where it’s not wanted…that’s just joining those with high esteem and with the greater than thou attitude …. Oh I am no Vera Wang but I have a lil fashion sense …. And I love leggings yes I do !!!

As one of my very wise fashion mentors would say to me, I in turn and say to you…
Insert name below …

Say! Sam Moon I am …
I like green leggings !
I do!! I like them Sam moon I am
And I would wear them in a boat!
And I would wear them with a coat
And I will wear them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good so good you see!

So I will wear them with boots & my sox.
And I will wear them and look like a fox.
And I will wear them with a long blouse.
And I will wear them around my house.
And I will wear them here and there.

Say! I will wear them ANYWHERE!

I do so like
green leggings and boots !
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam Moon I-am

Carry on …. Let the debate continue ….

I paused for just a little over 5 minutes and really listened to Brittany Maynard’s heart… It’s her last video 😭

I mean really listened and tried to put myself in her place as she spoke her heart.
Oh it’s gut wrenching to see her chose to take her life in her own hands and Give up Hope.
As she was speaking at one point my mind went back to the most painful time in my life just a few years ago where I actually said many times to God during a time where all my resources were gone, I was without a home, no income and alone. I was at times wanting to give up but I also wanted Hope.
I would come to a place many times in 11 months time where I just begged God to take me because I could not take the pain.
He didn’t and one by one everything I dreamed or Hoped of was gone.
There was something that God gave me during those times to keep me and it was HOPE.
He would shine a tiny bit down and I would have the strength to go another day.

Brittany seemed to me to be missing Hope.
I have a intimate relationship with the Hope Giver and that’s what kept me. That’s why I did not give up in my time of despair.
We cannot make other believe in Jesus, we cannot talk others into feeling what we feel or the reality of our experience with Christ and our Faith.
We can only share our lives, our truths, our faith and not force them with angry words to do what we believe is right.
We don’t have to shout at each other words of anger saying she is going to hell because we truly have no idea how God might have met her in her last moments.

If I could have said anything to Brittany it would have been don’t lose Hope … Don’t give up yet…
Don’t go laying down with a pill and die.
Go out messy, loud and fat if you have to but go out fighting don’t just quit before God moves.

I think sitting here now if I would have quit and gave up on my life … Look what I would be missing…
A love I would have never experienced …
No Paul & Doris …
No meeting the folks I have met …
I would never get to be what God designed me to be…

As a child of a father who ended his life when I was 13 and he was 32… I know about living the other side of someone’s suicide…

Brittany sounded like she thought she was making a sacrifice for her mom and husband but really she just began the grief a little sooner.

I seem to understand her choices and what she told herself was the right thing for her.
I cannot imagine the pain she felt and pray in the last minutes God who loves her so much reached down and pulled her into Him and she said yes to Jesus….

Never give up Hope … Keep fighting and keep going even if it hurts and it’s messy ….

Hopenotwasted

This Picture I posted was just exactly how I survived dealing with life’s tragic events.
I have always been a girl who could sleep and when I fell into a deep depression it was like that for many years. Sleep was often a break for me from thoughts that filled my mind with guilt, regret and SHAME. After I began my life altering journey in 2010 where it was a life of finding Hope in God in a new way and relying on Him for everything and I mean everything! I sometimes would just sleep to escape but then other times I would battle the inability to sleep.

When life hurts, a war rages in your mind and your suddenly alone and you feel there is no one you can trust and your trapped in the darkness of Depression you sleep, heal, recover, grieve, rest and then one day it’s all gone. The pain is not in front of you, the mind stops racing with memories, you let go of the what if’s, why did’s and regrets.
You say Goodbye to the shame, guilt your just not welcome here anymore and you just tell your mind that the battle is finished.

You pick up a pencil, a paintbrush, some paper and fund the right glue. You grab some supplies, get a few paints, get the perfect stickers and you grab a bible, a piece of paper and you listen to God…

Maybe for the first time or maybe the first time in a long time and it’s clearly His voice actually speaking to you and not in a way that you ever thought you would hear him.

You begin to use Art to hear God’s HeART and it’s just got you and you begin a new journey and now you just can’t sleep. You want to wake up, you think about God more, shame less. You want to find the right bible and you crave more time with Him.

You stop turning on the tv during the day, you can listen to silence for the very first time in 46 years.
All of a sudden what dreams you had they are right in front of you, you realize that what your truly made to do is just Love God, Love yourself and then your free to Love others.

Oh it’s all so very clear…
Oh it’s so very freeing…
It’s not about what I can do great…
It’s not about my past…
It’s not about what has been done to me…
It’s all about Jesus and who He really is…

He’s forgiving … So I forgive … Starting with me…
He’s Loving … So I Love …. Starting with myself…
He’s merciful… So I share mercy… When I make a mistake…
He’s compassionate … So I give Compassion .. Starting with me…
He’s my provider … So I have faith …
He’s my peace… So I rest …
He’s the giver of Hope… So I find Hope..

He’s so much more and all you have to do is find Him for yourself…

It’s not about what church you go to, or even if you go to church…
It’s not about what you have done right or wrong…
It’s not about who hurt you…
It’s not about where you live, it’s not about how many times you have been married, divorced, or living with someone.
It’s not what color you are, what president you voted for,what denomination you are or if your just not sure if God exists it’s simply meeting Jesus and finding the truth out for yourself.

So now since I began my journey with a bible,a pen, a few stickers and a heart willing to just listen, learn and trust that the Holy Sprit of God would meet me right where I am, did I realize that all He wants is my willingness to just spend time with Him and a open heart, ears to hear him and a few supplies and together with God I will create a new life,my heart will heal and my life will turn into the beautiful piece of Art… Your will to …

My life has been messy so my art is messy, I find trash and turn them into treasures just like God did with me. I create outside the lines and not like anyone else and I am ok with not being like anyone else and that’s a gift of accepting myself for just who I am…

Oh life is good thanks to my Bible Journaling and how God used this simple act of Worship to help me wake up to the reality that I no longer need to sleep to escape … I need to wake up and seek Him in this new way…

Just as I am …

Every time I create a page He puts it right next to the other pieces of art in His Heart and He does not compare my outside the lines with your straight ones..

Doris Lynn Humplik

Hopenotwasted