I paused for just a little over 5 minutes and really listened to Brittany Maynard’s heart… It’s her last video 😭
I mean really listened and tried to put myself in her place as she spoke her heart.
Oh it’s gut wrenching to see her chose to take her life in her own hands and Give up Hope.
As she was speaking at one point my mind went back to the most painful time in my life just a few years ago where I actually said many times to God during a time where all my resources were gone, I was without a home, no income and alone. I was at times wanting to give up but I also wanted Hope.
I would come to a place many times in 11 months time where I just begged God to take me because I could not take the pain.
He didn’t and one by one everything I dreamed or Hoped of was gone.
There was something that God gave me during those times to keep me and it was HOPE.
He would shine a tiny bit down and I would have the strength to go another day.
Brittany seemed to me to be missing Hope.
I have a intimate relationship with the Hope Giver and that’s what kept me. That’s why I did not give up in my time of despair.
We cannot make other believe in Jesus, we cannot talk others into feeling what we feel or the reality of our experience with Christ and our Faith.
We can only share our lives, our truths, our faith and not force them with angry words to do what we believe is right.
We don’t have to shout at each other words of anger saying she is going to hell because we truly have no idea how God might have met her in her last moments.
If I could have said anything to Brittany it would have been don’t lose Hope … Don’t give up yet…
Don’t go laying down with a pill and die.
Go out messy, loud and fat if you have to but go out fighting don’t just quit before God moves.
I think sitting here now if I would have quit and gave up on my life … Look what I would be missing…
A love I would have never experienced …
No Paul & Doris …
No meeting the folks I have met …
I would never get to be what God designed me to be…
As a child of a father who ended his life when I was 13 and he was 32… I know about living the other side of someone’s suicide…
Brittany sounded like she thought she was making a sacrifice for her mom and husband but really she just began the grief a little sooner.
I seem to understand her choices and what she told herself was the right thing for her.
I cannot imagine the pain she felt and pray in the last minutes God who loves her so much reached down and pulled her into Him and she said yes to Jesus….
Never give up Hope … Keep fighting and keep going even if it hurts and it’s messy ….