Sleeping to escape… Bible journaling woke me up to my reality…

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This Picture I posted was just exactly how I survived dealing with life’s tragic events.
I have always been a girl who could sleep and when I fell into a deep depression it was like that for many years. Sleep was often a break for me from thoughts that filled my mind with guilt, regret and SHAME. After I began my life altering journey in 2010 where it was a life of finding Hope in God in a new way and relying on Him for everything and I mean everything! I sometimes would just sleep to escape but then other times I would battle the inability to sleep.

When life hurts, a war rages in your mind and your suddenly alone and you feel there is no one you can trust and your trapped in the darkness of Depression you sleep, heal, recover, grieve, rest and then one day it’s all gone. The pain is not in front of you, the mind stops racing with memories, you let go of the what if’s, why did’s and regrets.
You say Goodbye to the shame, guilt your just not welcome here anymore and you just tell your mind that the battle is finished.

You pick up a pencil, a paintbrush, some paper and fund the right glue. You grab some supplies, get a few paints, get the perfect stickers and you grab a bible, a piece of paper and you listen to God…

Maybe for the first time or maybe the first time in a long time and it’s clearly His voice actually speaking to you and not in a way that you ever thought you would hear him.

You begin to use Art to hear God’s HeART and it’s just got you and you begin a new journey and now you just can’t sleep. You want to wake up, you think about God more, shame less. You want to find the right bible and you crave more time with Him.

You stop turning on the tv during the day, you can listen to silence for the very first time in 46 years.
All of a sudden what dreams you had they are right in front of you, you realize that what your truly made to do is just Love God, Love yourself and then your free to Love others.

Oh it’s all so very clear…
Oh it’s so very freeing…
It’s not about what I can do great…
It’s not about my past…
It’s not about what has been done to me…
It’s all about Jesus and who He really is…

He’s forgiving … So I forgive … Starting with me…
He’s Loving … So I Love …. Starting with myself…
He’s merciful… So I share mercy… When I make a mistake…
He’s compassionate … So I give Compassion .. Starting with me…
He’s my provider … So I have faith …
He’s my peace… So I rest …
He’s the giver of Hope… So I find Hope..

He’s so much more and all you have to do is find Him for yourself…

It’s not about what church you go to, or even if you go to church…
It’s not about what you have done right or wrong…
It’s not about who hurt you…
It’s not about where you live, it’s not about how many times you have been married, divorced, or living with someone.
It’s not what color you are, what president you voted for,what denomination you are or if your just not sure if God exists it’s simply meeting Jesus and finding the truth out for yourself.

So now since I began my journey with a bible,a pen, a few stickers and a heart willing to just listen, learn and trust that the Holy Sprit of God would meet me right where I am, did I realize that all He wants is my willingness to just spend time with Him and a open heart, ears to hear him and a few supplies and together with God I will create a new life,my heart will heal and my life will turn into the beautiful piece of Art… Your will to …

My life has been messy so my art is messy, I find trash and turn them into treasures just like God did with me. I create outside the lines and not like anyone else and I am ok with not being like anyone else and that’s a gift of accepting myself for just who I am…

Oh life is good thanks to my Bible Journaling and how God used this simple act of Worship to help me wake up to the reality that I no longer need to sleep to escape … I need to wake up and seek Him in this new way…

Just as I am …

Every time I create a page He puts it right next to the other pieces of art in His Heart and He does not compare my outside the lines with your straight ones..

Doris Lynn Humplik

Hopenotwasted

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