1 Shade Of White – 50 shades of Grey

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She wonders why women don’t take a stand, make a point to stand up for each other more? Why is it ok to go watch a movie that is filled with abuse. Oh come on Doris are you serious it’s no different than watching what’s on tv. In the ends they get married and have two children.
Oh I see !!! If it was your 18 year old daughter who was being groomed and basically raped, controlled and hurt emotionally – oh but it’s sexy and this is Love ! Oh I see Love!! Love !!!
What’s Love got to do with 50 shades of Grey?
It was 5 years ago that I was in a similar marriage and daily mentally tortured by my husband – only married 11months when I escaped.
I paid a huge price and just talking about him and it gives me anxiety!
I am about to relocate within miles of him tomorrow.
That’s all good – side story.
One day I got a very brave email from a very close and true friend that said I can’t accept your calls anymore because your staying and you will not leave, I can’t listen to you cry one more day.
The truth in her words woke me up
& it was then that I made a plan and made a way out.
Many knew what I lived in, many said wake up and yet his control held me in fear, he tortured me and enjoyed it!
It’s been a battle to get back the Doris I used to be!

Now many of you are going to pay money to get turned on to something that was my life and erotic it was not.
Talk to a victim of domestic violence, rape or sexual abuse and ask them about pretending they are all right and the lies they tell them selves! He Loves me! It’s control… It’s so many things.
My friends watched it for free and grieved at what I was living in!

This is not to condemn or judge you but to glamorize abuse and call it a movie makes me sick and that women are getting turned on by it, call it love and pay money to go see a great love story on Valentines day. Ask my very close Friend Debbie that’s raising her grandchildren after their mother was killed two years ago by her Christian Grey, ask her if Hollies love story ended with Love or if she’s being visited in a place that her broken body is resting.

Everyday this love story is on the evening news- sexual abuse, rape, sex trafficking and domestic violence and I can’t even watch it because I suffer from PTSD and one word of this gives me anxiety and triggers my fears.

I’ve heard if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything.

What if we just thought about the bigger picture instead of wasting 2 hours getting turned on by a hidden lie that abuse is love and it’s romance.

I live romance now and it’s sexy, it’s the first time in my life I have felt safe in my entire life! I grew up in this very same life as a child same environment.

Well Doris that’s you !
Yes it is me but what if one day something happens to you that’s tragic and I make light of it?
What if I justify it by saying hey you know what, regardless of my beliefs, desire or opinion I think I will redirect my view a bit and look at a bigger picture not the desire to see man get turned on my humiliating a woman.
I was so humiliated in my life from sexual abuse as early as 3-4 years old and raped on the ground behind a skating rink and attacked by more than one person I was married to in anger that I clearly see the whole picture with open eyes… Doris you did not read the book!
Oh I tried first 6-7 chapters in 2012 to see what my married Christian friends were raving about on Facebook !
I cried the whole time reading it to Paul at night after making it through a chapter! I tore that book up and said nope I lived this I don’t need to read it…
Listen girls I love you and to not share this would just be very wrong…

If you want a real love story I am living it right now and it’s a page turner for me and Paul’s support has healed me but I still struggle with issues from
A life that few survive and he is patient and kind ….
Wipes the tears away and helps me feel safe for the first time …

Read my book “1 Shade of White”
It’s written daily on Facebook …

If you chose to go see it your free to and I still love you but please don’t stop loving me for sharing my story.

My Truth💔

Doris Lynn Humplik
Hopenotwasted

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